What You Need to Know About Dating After Divorce Over 30

It might be challenging for everyone to get back to dating after divorce, or go through age gap relationships. After divorce, most people experience a social stigma that prevents them from starting a new relationship. As you get older, finding the right person becomes increasingly difficult because most people around you are already coupled up and there are few single people among your friends. Other than that, your friends will certainly exert too much pressure on you to find somebody to date.

Therefore, dating after divorce is generally tough. However, it is not impossible. In this article, we are going to review some useful notes you should know if you want to start dating after divorce.

Find the Right Time

Psychologists believe that it usually takes almost a year for you to recover from a breakup and get ready to start dating after divorce. However, This is not an unchangeable rule and the duration might be different for different people. It can be a month or a few years in your case. Therefore, you need to listen to yourself to find when it is the right time for starting over.

One more thing to keep in mind is that you should not be pushed by your friends or yourself, telling you that you are aging and need to start dating after divorce before it is late. Rushing in this regard may just lead to doubling the problems. When the right time comes, you will detect it. It is usually clear when you are not ready. Just listen to your feelings and intuition.

Do Not Hide Your Previous Marriage

You should not be ashamed of your previous marriage and divorce. Indeed, getting a divorce is a part of your life and who you are. If your new partner is unable to understand and accept it, then they are not the right person for you. Also, you should not feel like you have to talk about literally anything that has been between you and your previous partner.

The best approach is to shed light on your divorce as soon as you can. That is because the longer you wait, the more you may feel like this hidden information is weighing on your shoulder. It exerts a lot of pressure on you, cause you are attempting to hide something that is possibly important for your new partner.

Get Social

If you feel like you are a little nervous about dating after divorce, then you can start with attending social activities first. Dive into the hobbies you are interested in: cooking, reading, drawing, dancing, etc. Pick one and start it. This provides you with opportunities to find new people with similar interests.

Maybe you have lost your social and flirting skills since you got married. Exploring social activities and meeting new people helps you regain those skills more easily and use them to your benefit as you already have a common topic to talk about with your new partner.

Discover Your Intention

Dating after divorce might have different reasons and you have to find yours. You should not waste your time with people whose goals do not match yours. Then, are you looking to find someone with whom you can spend your entire life? Or, do you tend to find a stimulating experience? Your answers to yourself can change how you should act during your dates.

Also, you need to vividly know what kind of person you are willing to date. Most people often tend to create a list of their preferences and try to see if the person they have met owns those characteristics. However, psychologists believe that lists may limit who you allow into your life. What is crucial in this regard is to know what your most worthwhile values are, and whether they are analogous to those of your new partner. If your core values do not match, then you will not be able to build a long-term relationship.

Date Multiple People

For such a long time, you have been in a monogamous relationship. That is what makes dating after a divorce or going through age gap relationships more difficult for you. To overcome this issue, you should date many people to find out who is best for you. After all, you should not put all your eggs in one basket.

It is a good approach to date a few people at the same time. It enables you to have a clearer vision of your interests regarding your new partners. This way, you can discover the qualities you define as valuable. Keep in mind that you should be honest and tell people that you are meeting others too. You need to explain this clearly to avoid potential consequences.

Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection

Rejection is what prevents many people from dating after divorce. This usually happens to those who know the divorce as a kind of defeat and failure. However, you should know that rejection is a part of the process. When someone says that you are not the right person for them, do not be disappointed and accept it. Know this rejection as a new step toward finding the right person.

Try to stay relaxed and proceed. Do not obsessively magnify the fact that a particular individual does not like you. Keep in mind that everyone experiences rejection in their lives, and that is nothing to be worried about. You do not have to struggle to prove you are a good person; the right person will eventually appear and love you for who you are.

Forget Your Ex

When your date is going pretty well and you are enjoying your conversation with your new partner, it is usually so tempting to talk about your ex negatively. Stop it, cause it is not a good idea. This approach can only ruin the contact with your new partner, as they may think, “If your ex was this bad, then why did you marry them? Is this what will happen to me if things do not go well between us too?” That is certainly not the way you want your partner to think about your future relationship.

Another mistake you may make is to compare your new partner with your ex. Do not forget that this is a completely new person and there is no way to compare them with your ex. The new partner may like or dislike things that you and your ex did not even think about. Thus, try to learn about your new partner to know how you can build a positive relationship with them.